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BuzzFeed - Crossword Answers | 2015 12 17
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Clue
Answer
Buzzard relative, big wings, eats dead animals, get it?
VULTURE
Candlelight event for remembering, say, the patriarchy before it crumbles
VIGIL
Church bells sound, I know, you wouldn't know as you're a heathen who's never stepped foot in a church before or even walked by one
PEAL
Comic unit (I prefer graphic novels, which are serious comics)
STRIP
Easy question, metaphorically (again NOT actually
LOB
Estimator's phrase, they make educated guesses
ORSO
Flap one's gums, that's slang for 'talk incessantly'
BLAB
Floor cleaner's tool...it probably touched where you're standing
MOP
Dumps, like condos that can't afford cleaners
STIES
Kill the sound, like I bet you wish you could do with someone talking like a 41-Across
MUTE
Large animal in the deer family (not actual family, but in the species sense)
ELK
DJ Lowe who played my band once - I'm a very talented musician
ZANE
Dish in a lab used for examining cultures (those are science terms for those who haven't studied science)
PETRI
Little ones that you give to your hired help to push around in jogging carriages
TOTS
Money for a club membership, join a couple when you have a chance
DUES
Neglects to mention, as I can't seem to understand how to do
OMITS
Dicks (it's the formal word, so you may not know it yet)
PHALLI
Opera highlight - it's a high-cultured thing kind of like a 'musical' only in a foreign language
ARIA
Car roof you can take off (not ACTUALLY, just for a ride or something)
TTOP
Gay icon Minnelli, watch 'Cabaret' when you have a moment it's very important
LIZA
Pasta shaped like a tube, that's like a cylinder only without tops
ZITI
Treat condescendingly, like the clues in this puzzle
PATRONIZE
Final purpose you might seek if you had direction
ENDALL
Twerking body part, if you're a peasant
ASS
Bring a house down - it's like an apartment, only bigger and for one family
RAZE
Federal agcy. that takes money from your paycheck - they take a lot from me, trust me
IRS
Eel, in sushi-speak - it's delicious
UNAGI
Indifferent to pain, as one should be
STOIC
I have one for fine art
EYE
General Rommel (he's a historical figure from World War II)
ERWIN
Like many fifth-graders - ask your cousin
AGETEN
Barely worth mentioning, like whatever you do vis-a-vis my brilliant career
MERE
Aware of, as the fact that this puzzle is making fun of douches who 55-Across
ONTO
Literally everybody at the office beneath me
PEON
Answer to the question 'Who is more knowledgable about things than me?'
NOONE
Part of an attack plan (in war)
PRONG
TV show that's not nearly as good as a real show like 'The Wire' because it takes place in a high school and is a musical
GLEE
One who talks like he's obviously superior but he's actually just privileged
CHAUVINISTPIG
Julia Roberts's ex Lyle, he's a country singer
LOVETT
'Put a sock in it, I'm spreading wisdom here, people'
SHUTTHEHELLUP
'Interstate Love Song' band, briefly (I had it on colored vinyl)
STP
Parkinson's battler that Robert De Niro's character took in 'Awakenings,' you should watch it sometime
LDOPA
Barley grain pasta, it's good with kale
ORZO
Head coverings (like, you put them on your head)
CAPS
Vincent van Gogh chopped one off (painter who painted 'The Starry Night')
EAR
Gun org. full of people who *get* me
NRA
'Un Ballo in Maschera' song that means 'it was you' if you spoke Italian (I do)
ERITU
BRITISH NOBLEMAN
EARL
Playful prank, for example pretending I don't know what I'm talking about
ANTIC
Rayed autumn flower, that's the time of year we go back to school
ASTER
Really digging, as I am myself
INTO
Said with a wink (a blink but with only one eye)
SLY
Send forth, as light (did you take physics?)
EMIT
'Help me out here, I could be more condescending'
BEAPAL
Singer Lou who is very good - he sounds like some singers that you might know like Al Green
RAWLS
Instagram posting (follow me @fleetwoodwack for some mind-blowing shit)
PIC
Skin and bones, metaphorically (not literally)
LEAN
Slow, graceful dance I learned how to do it at Juilliard
MINUET
Small obstacle in plans that aren't good
HITCH
Spread wisdom as people should let me do more often
ORATE
Stop existing, as the patriarchy
DIE
Apple appointment app you might use to get your life together
ICAL
Street corner things that tell you you can't park here, if you should stop, where to go, etc
SIGNS
Submarine sandwich - I make a great one
HOAGIE
Superman's accessory (he's a very strong superhero)
CAPE
Terrible shame, but you'll get over it
PITY
Things I give 10% for, no matter what (I had to work for my money)
TIPS
Volume button, it's the round thing on the stereo
KNOB
17-Across like a 41-Across
MANSPLAIN
'The Godfather' first name, it's a classic film so you should know this
VITO
Uses, as a chair - or the floor if you don't understand what a chair is
SITSON
'___ have something smart to say about that'
IMAY
Borscht base (borscht is a delicious soup I know how to cook)
BEETS
Shrinking Asian sea (I've traveled in Asia)
ARAL
Ski resort in New Mexico because Vail was so 2009
TAOS
Beer that's got a lot of hops (you'd probably prefer a Heineken or Coors)
PALEALE
Strahan's co-host (on TV)
RIPA
What Rosie does on some posters (from history)
RIVET